Women's Nook
It’s funny how coincidences happen.
You may have read my post on The Olive Sisters. I enjoyed the book, finding one of the themes particularly poignant. Somehow I felt that Amanda Hampson had written her novel from a deep understanding of what longing and belonging feel like.
Some months later I saw a notice at my local community centre - Amanda was giving a writing course there. As much as I would have loved to do the writing course what I really hoped for was the chance to talk with her about The Olive Sisters, life … I called Amanda and found that she was only too happy to meet up over a cup of coffee.
As we chatted I began to understand where the themes of family, childhood and belonging in The Olive Sisters had come from. As has been said before - ‘to write successfully write what you know‘ - and Amanda has obviously done that. She has written from the heart.
In retrospect every major decision becomes pivotal but it’s often the incorrect decision that forces you to grow up and take responsibility.
Probably the one thing that really bent my life out of shape was getting pregnant as a very naïve 16 year old and relinquishing my son for adoption. I lost my youth and the bravado that is the gift of youth. It took a long time to recover but in the long term the compensations of being reunited with him have far outweighed the grief I went through over the years.
There have been other things like leaving countries and partners that have been incredibly difficult but I like to hope I am more mature as a result of dealing with those things.
I’m in my mid-fifties and have a son who’s now in his late thirties and three grandchildren. I am also a solo parent with a boy and girl 12 and 16.
I live off my wits basically. I run writing workshops and work on various writing projects - some, like corporate work, pay immediate dividends - but also screenplays and novels, which hopefully will come good in the future.
Cash-flow can get tricky, but I kind of like the fact that every dollar counts; it makes you more thrifty.
Beyond that my life is brilliant; lots of exercise, family, friends, freedom, a beautiful environment to live in and work that I love – what more could you ask for?
I only wish I had time to write a daily journal. When I’m in doubt or confusion or even distress, I do turn to
words and try to ‘write it out’. It helps me gain clarity and is something I can look back on, usually to wonder: ‘What the hell was all that about?!
Certainly not change. Even when unwelcome changes are thrust upon me I find, to some extent that change is bracing; it makes you wake up and pay attention.
Loss on the other hand is the hardest; the loss of my son to adoption, the death of my mother – these things have left scars that will always be a part of me.
Being reunited with my son after 20 years – top of the list!
My children, my grandchildren, old and loved friends, the gradual getting of wisdom and perspective …
So many amazing - hoped for and worked for - opportunities have come my way.
Family and friends – always relationships above ‘things’
Reading and writing
Helping others achieve something they didn’t realise they are capable of.
Travel.
Learning new skills (that does not include MYOB - the accounting software!)
Okay this could go on for pages so just a few would be - Geoff Dyer, Lionel Shriver, Collette, Isabel Allende, Tim Winton and Barbara Kingsolver – they are all really good writers. But more importantly, each has achieved some level of self-realisation as a writer and it shows as an authenticity of style.
Again – pages could be filled!
Here are three -
Pefume by Patrick Suskind.
But Beautiful by Geoff Dyer.
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Buaby.
Reading for me is immersion in another world, time, place, life – I love it.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed and frustrated by political issues – as I did when I was younger. Now I feel it is up to each of us to simply live our own life with integrity; reduce our footprint, deal with others with honesty and respect. Daily deeds.
The tree change was wonderful while the children were young. I grew up in the country and it’s a very free life. But I think adolescents can be disadvantaged in rural environments and perhaps the middle-aged are as well. The Northern Beaches, where we eventually landed, offers a natural environment within an hour of the opportunities and stimulation of a big city – that’s hard to beat.
An Apple laptop. What more does one need?
A woman in her fifties, in a global economic crisis, means she’s working harder than ever!
It’s all about working your core strengths at this age, doing work people are prepared to pay highly for because of your experience.
It’s also about keeping fit, eating lean, drinking leaner and being extremely patient and understanding with the teenagers in your life.
Dithering is more demanding than doing.
If you ‘do’ and don’t like – stop and do something else!
Zero credit card debt. I’m serious!
Okay, maybe three months a year spent in a cottage in Italy, France or Greece putting together the first draft of a novel.
Women who have faced devastating losses, like losing a child, and not become angry or bitter.
A good night’s sleep, good coffee and a long heart-to-heart with one of my close friends.
It’s all about karma. Leave a trail of good and good will find you.
Helpful, Caring, Loving, Honest, Real.
My thanks to Amanda for sharing her story with us.
Visit Amanda’s website
Print This Page
Send to a friend
Change Text Size
RSS Feed